It’s 2:23am and I’m exhausted. I think a lot about how you’re supposed to express positivity and excitement to attract an audience. Other times, the right way to go seems to be through pure and unadulterated authenticity. I’m fearful that if my writing isn’t perfect, if I’m not using the write words or expressing my thoughts in a cohesive and neatly delivered manner, that an audience wouldn’t have the patience to stick with me. I’m also afraid that society (you) will see my unfiltered thoughts and judge me for them. Isn’t that a little silly? The whole reason for starting this blog was to learn some web development, practice my writing, and show off to future employers how diligent I can be, but now that I’m here I feel like tearing that all up for the sake of keeping my voice.
I had spent the last couple of hours listening to tunes and playing around with customizing this WordPress theme, and it seems like a waste to go off to bed without writing my first blog post. So here I am, typing these words on screen. They rise from the bottom because I’m using the WordPress block editor. Feels a bit like a modern day typewriter. All the while I’m looking at this stupid stock image of some lake that comes with the site.
What are these nature photographs supposed to elicit in the viewer? At first glance they seem so beautiful and grand, but now that the internet is littered with them they’ve seemed to lost all value. Or perhaps they never had any value to begin with. This is something I notice every time I pull out my phone to take a picture of some wonderful experience. As soon as I take the shot, when I look at the photo it never really captures it quite right. Maybe I’m just a shitty photographer.
The other reason I started this blog so that I can make something more of the limited time that I have. There’s so much I’d like to do, and to get to a level where I’m happy to do them I’ll have to first spend a lot of dedicated time building up expertise. So perhaps that’s what I’ll do with this. I’ll log the things that I learn and provide some externally internal pressure to be conscientious with my time and attention. By striving for a singular goal in longer-term blocks, hopefully I can avoid the millennial malaise of chronic indecisiveness.
So there you have it. My first blog post. We all must start somewhere and I choose to start right here. I’ve never been very good at planning things out, so I’ll begin by running straight into it. Forwards and onward until I figure it out, I suppose.
Brian Park 